I’m doing something wrong. Something very wrong. I should stop but I keep going back to it. I know the consequences it holds, and I still go back to it. Like a broken record, like an idiot.

I make resolutions, I decide to turn over a new leaf. Months later, my resolve breaks. I repent, regret and vow never to do it again. Over and over, time and time again.

And I think, am I really this weak?

I need to stop this. I need… Him. I need His help. I need Him to help me. If He wills. And I need to make an effort to make the change myself. Asking Him for help is one thing. But it’s no use if I just sit there and wait for it to come. I’d have to work towards it, and if He wills it’ll happen. It must be a test of some kind.

The first step is to admit you have a problem. This is mine.